While you are sorting out Amanda’s new gay son and private jet, I’d like you to consider consider a few fantasy gifts I have on my list?
Not only would she cook and clean and nag the teens to tidy up/do their homework etc, she would also make me laugh and quite honestly I find laughter an increasingly important part of my daily routine. She would also ensure that the family eat well, as in 2012 I have decided to give up cooking completely. Without Mrs Doubtfire, the teens will be forced to eat MAD’s cooking or take aways and much as they may find this an attractive proposition, I give them a month of oven chips and kebabs before they crack!
Oh and I’d have to have a bigger garden to put it in. I don’t care what it looks like, a garden shed with a kettle, deckchair and calor gas fire would be enough to be honest. I’d just like somewhere to escape to with the dog. I have an office at home but it’s full of technology, which means work. I want a tech free zone, where I can read, think and snooze. Now I come to think of it, I think a beach hut would be perfect.
A miniature smooth haired dachshund in ginger
I already have a big dog and feel he needs a little friend. I would quite like one I could pop in my bag and take to restaurants like French women do. I promise not ask for any more dogs after this as I realise there is a danger of me turning into the crazy dog woman of N16.
Like the one in Star Trek, so that I can visit my best friend in New York and vice versa. We could drink tea in each others kitchens and talk for hours about Angelina Jolie, politics, our teens, Jennifer Aniston, fibroids, etc etc. A transporter would be so much easier than five hours on a plane, but we wouldn’t want to wear lycra mini dresses!
Unlimited access to the Marni and Dries Van Noten archives
This really isn’t too much to ask is it? I would like to be allowed to wear whatever I wanted and occasionally have special pieces made for me (which I would design). If this isn’t possible, I could compromise and share the COS in Amanda’s garden.
Many thanks and Merry Christmas,