Footner, AKA The Big Peel, for feet

You need to know about Footner, a rather weird sounding product that promises to restore your feet to baby-skin softness. I was alerted to it by an entertaining Mumsnet thread which indicated it was indeed good, but you had to have a strong constitution to survive the ‘peeling’ without freaking out.

If you have feet that are not ‘sandal ready’ as perky magazine features demand we should be, are a teeny bit ashamed of your scruffy looking feet and have a macabre fascination with peeling off dead skin from parts of your body, then you might like this.

Basically, you slip your poor hardened feet into two plastic socks full of liquid, and sit quietly for two hours watching back-episodes of Nashville. Then you take them off, wash your feet and carry on as normal for three days.

On day three/four you will have forgotten all about the stuff, until you look down at your pinkies and think you have developed a very bad case of tropical skin disease, or you’ve turned into an actual zombie. This is because you will be leaving a wake of peeling dead skin all over the bedroom/bathroom, or where ever your poor feet tread. The effect of the shedding is dramatic and in a weird way that we probably shouldn’t spend too much time on, highly engrossing. I spent quite a long time peeling off giant strips of dead skin from my feet -particularly the base -which gave me a lot of pleasure, but maybe that’s just me.

Anyway, result is indeed, soft skin on my feet, which look very ‘sandal ready’ now. Very good for pre-holiday feet, but do remember that for the week or ten days you are shedding you really wont want to be wearing shoes that expose your toes. And don’t do it with very tanned legs either as you will be left with white socks for feet, as all that tan is coming off in the Big Peel.

Currently two for the price of one and a half at Boots, while stocks last.