MiddleagedSingle.com: Here’s to you Mrs Robinson

We are delighted to have a new guest writer (who wishes to remain anonymous) who, over the next few months, will be sharing with us, with the trials, tribulations and joys of being middleaged, free and single……………………………………..

It was on a three-hour flight into Heathrow that I first became aware of the younger man’s attraction to the older woman.  Granted his chat-up was less-than-sophisticated, comprising of knee-ing me in the back for two hours, followed by a tap on the head to ask if I was asleep (well, I WAS) and when a large city appeared beneath us, asking ‘Is this London?’  Mind you, I wasn’t exactly firing on all cylinders, as it wasn’t until he asked for my number at the luggage carousel that the penny finally dropped, and I took my first tentative steps on what was to become a year-long romance with the ‘younger man’.

You won’t find the C word mentioned here, as from what I’ve experienced the young men in question are not poor defenceless creatures, being hunted down by predatory older females.  That word is just patronising – older men have been chasing younger women around for years without anyone feeling the need to give them a catchy animal reference.  And there are certainly enough eager young bucks on younger man/older woman-specific dating sites to prove that some young men are…well, to be honest, gagging for it.  And as for you, Courtney Cox-Arquette, that might have been an amusing name for your show when you were happily married – not so funny now, is it?  I’ll get off my soapbox.

But is this a new phenomenon?  Maybe young men have, for generations, found older single women attractive and I am only just noticing it now as I fit into that demographic.  Or perhaps the sheer numbers of older single women around now, looking better-preserved and stylish than ever before, has prompted the younger generation of men to sit up and take a closer look?  Or maybe it’s just down to good old-fashioned mother-fixation?

Whatever the reason, there are benefits for both parties.  The single older woman is not likely to apply pressure to settle down or likely to get pregnant.  She’s worldly-wise, confident and independent.  The younger man is a tremendous ego-boost, he’s fresh-out-of-the-packet with ideas and opinions and will possibly have a body like Adonis.

If you are toying with the idea of dating a Younger Man, here are a few recommendations:

Don’t keep reminding him about the age gap.  You might be tickled pink about the flattery from someone so young, but constant reminders about the age gap can come back and hit you in the face.  I was once discussing music with him and I mentioned I’d just tracked down a copy of Never Mind the B**cks on vinyl.  He looked vague.  ‘So where were you in 1977 then?!’ I joked.  ‘I wasn’t born then’ was the straight-faced reply.  Ouch.

Do remember wrinkles and creases don’t even register in his world so a ‘lights on’ situation won’t faze him. Mind you, I momentarily stopped breathing when I first glimpsed the Abercrombie & Fitch door-boy physique.  I swear you could bounce coins off his stomach.  Young men weren’t built like this in my late 20’s they were just straight up and down skinny.  This was a revelation!

Don’t ask him about his Mum.  You really don’t want to risk finding out you’re quite similar in looks, age or personality.

Do, above all, enjoy it for what it is.  Our romance ended when I met a lovely man of my own age.  We could talk on the same subjects, relate to the same things and he wouldn’t raise an eyebrow if I suggested going for a coffee in a garden centre.  I’m single again now, but, oh, the memories….

10 Comments

  • amanda says:

    Oh I’m SO pleased you’re our guest blogger Ms Anonymous, you are a joy to read……Ax

  • Jane says:

    Makes me want to ditch MAD and get an A & F model all of my own, nice to have you on board MAS.com ………..Jx

  • Amanda says:

    The wonderfully erudite Lee Randall sent these to our email yesterday, they are too good to keep to ourselves so she has kindly given permission to share….

    “My ex husband is ten years my junior — more boy than toy, hence the ex — and we had any number of conversations that ended:

    Ex: How do you know that?
    Me: Because I was alive then.

    Also the time that I said, “Gee, when you were learning how to walk, I was having my first period.”

    I was 37 when we married, and his mother said to him, “You’ll have to be very supportive of her, she’ll be having the menopause soon.” (WTF!?)

    Advice from my side of the family came from my much-married aunt, who said, “It’s about time you got your first marriage under your belt.”

    Love it…..Ax

  • I am so delighted to read this ( guest writer keep up the good words)

    Having just returned from a charming Wiltshire wedding , majority “much younger crowd ” would

    you believe, after hearing a most appropriate comment …& music to my ears ” quality and not

    qauntity is for me & you dont look like you come from round these parrrrts , fancy a glass of fiz ,

    well ! ….that was good enough for me , as I

    spun round as a whirling dirvish , only to discover a very handsome beau ….and Presto …Eureka !

    I actually got the youngerrrr man at my foot , well checking out my shoes actually.

    Turns out the Wiltshire 25’s – 35’s go for us single 45 +’s becuase we have got style, taste &

    sophistication . ( might have something to do with disposable income )

    Non the less he made my stay in Wilts most memorable ….more on this subject please CX

  • MAS.com says:

    Amanda, thank you for posting Lee’s comments, as you say, they are far too good to keep from us.

    Claire, you whirling dervish you, it sounds like you had a great wedding with a handsome young man falling at your feet. Good point about the disposable income theory, I had missed that one!

  • Amanda says:

    MAS.com….we are going to need monthly posts on this subject I think……better start thinking about the next one. Ax

  • MAS.com says:

    I’m onto it!

  • Lesley says:

    Just sat and read by blog and was pleasantly surprised nice piece. As I was reading it reminded me of a nigh out in York, after a few bars myself and some friends realised we were sat next to some young lively confident boys. The proceeded to chat and were quite nice, we decided to call if a night as the killer heals were beginning to kill, as we made our goodbye’s one of them good looking I might add turned to me and said Give it a go!!!! cheeky thing – as if – – well maybe. Mrs Robinson im not yet but their may be a future in it…..

  • Lesley says:

    Just sat and read your blog and was pleasantly surprised, nice piece. It reminded me of a night out and being approached, after a few drinks, by a group of younger boys who had decided to join us. We obviously looked like we were having more fun – now thats another issue – We sat chatting for a while about whether Ferdie in the BEP’s could sing…. then decided to head home as killer heels were killing. As we got up to leave one of the chaps, who I have to say was very good looking, said I’d give it a go!! Well cheeky if nothing else – as if – well maybe? Mrs Robinson im not but their may be a future in it!.

  • MAS.com says:

    Lesley, well, this younger man thing seems to be a common modern-day phenomenon doesn’t it? And flattering too. Although I’m not sure that “I’d give it a go” is the quite the phrase to win us over – I think they have a bit to learn first…..

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