We are delighted to have a new guest writer (who wishes to remain anonymous) who, over the next few months, will be sharing with us, with the trials, tribulations and joys of being middleaged, free and single……………………………………..
It was on a three-hour flight into Heathrow that I first became aware of the younger man’s attraction to the older woman. Granted his chat-up was less-than-sophisticated, comprising of knee-ing me in the back for two hours, followed by a tap on the head to ask if I was asleep (well, I WAS) and when a large city appeared beneath us, asking ‘Is this London?’ Mind you, I wasn’t exactly firing on all cylinders, as it wasn’t until he asked for my number at the luggage carousel that the penny finally dropped, and I took my first tentative steps on what was to become a year-long romance with the ‘younger man’.
You won’t find the C word mentioned here, as from what I’ve experienced the young men in question are not poor defenceless creatures, being hunted down by predatory older females. That word is just patronising – older men have been chasing younger women around for years without anyone feeling the need to give them a catchy animal reference. And there are certainly enough eager young bucks on younger man/older woman-specific dating sites to prove that some young men are…well, to be honest, gagging for it. And as for you, Courtney Cox-Arquette, that might have been an amusing name for your show when you were happily married – not so funny now, is it? I’ll get off my soapbox.
But is this a new phenomenon? Maybe young men have, for generations, found older single women attractive and I am only just noticing it now as I fit into that demographic. Or perhaps the sheer numbers of older single women around now, looking better-preserved and stylish than ever before, has prompted the younger generation of men to sit up and take a closer look? Or maybe it’s just down to good old-fashioned mother-fixation?
Whatever the reason, there are benefits for both parties. The single older woman is not likely to apply pressure to settle down or likely to get pregnant. She’s worldly-wise, confident and independent. The younger man is a tremendous ego-boost, he’s fresh-out-of-the-packet with ideas and opinions and will possibly have a body like Adonis.
If you are toying with the idea of dating a Younger Man, here are a few recommendations:
Don’t keep reminding him about the age gap. You might be tickled pink about the flattery from someone so young, but constant reminders about the age gap can come back and hit you in the face. I was once discussing music with him and I mentioned I’d just tracked down a copy of Never Mind the B**cks on vinyl. He looked vague. ‘So where were you in 1977 then?!’ I joked. ‘I wasn’t born then’ was the straight-faced reply. Ouch.
Do remember wrinkles and creases don’t even register in his world so a ‘lights on’ situation won’t faze him. Mind you, I momentarily stopped breathing when I first glimpsed the Abercrombie & Fitch door-boy physique. I swear you could bounce coins off his stomach. Young men weren’t built like this in my late 20’s they were just straight up and down skinny. This was a revelation!
Don’t ask him about his Mum. You really don’t want to risk finding out you’re quite similar in looks, age or personality.
Do, above all, enjoy it for what it is. Our romance ended when I met a lovely man of my own age. We could talk on the same subjects, relate to the same things and he wouldn’t raise an eyebrow if I suggested going for a coffee in a garden centre. I’m single again now, but, oh, the memories….