This week I have bought more than I should have. Not only did I buy two pairs of shoes at the Dover Street market MARKET (yes, I know I only mentioned one pair here…) but I also bought an Armand Basi dress on Saturday from Nom de Plume.
When I came through the door clutching my smart brown carrier bag, Middleagedad raised his eyebrows heavenwards and muttered something about 'more unnecessary clothes'. As I started on my explanation to why exactly this was an ESSENTIAL purchase, he piped up with 'You could write a blog post on how many excuses you've got for buying clothes!' So here it is.
Useful excuses for explaining away yet more clothes……
1) What this? I've had this for years! It's practically vintage. Do you not remember I wore it to ….(slot in appropriate occasion where you might have worn it, also makes spouse aware he might not have been paying as much attention as he should have been to how fab you looked at the time).
2) Actually I bought this ages (imply years have passed) ago, it's just the first time I've worn it.
3) This was pre-ordered last season, which is when I paid for it, so although it looks new, it really isn't.
4) It's a wear-test, I was given it by the designers who want to see how the fabric performs. (only really works if you have a job in fashion or have friends who do).
5) I bought it at a sample sale, so it's both a one-off (hint at this being very special indeed) and SO MUCH cheaper than it should have been.
or better still…
5a) I bought it at a DESIGNER sample sale (insert name of mega expensive currently 'hot' designer) at 70% off so actually that counts as an INVESTMENT, as I could probably sell it on eBay next week and get my money back/make more than I paid for it (unlikely, but sounds good).
6) Dazzle with maths….Ah, well these shoes were bought at an 80% off sale, this means that, since most retailers work on a 2.8% markup on wholesale prices,the actual price I paid was close to how much the shoes originally cost to make! What a bargain, eh? (must be said in an excited and authoritative voice).
7) This is a replacement purchase for the one you ruined/shrank/turned grey in the wash last week (works well with knitwear).
8) My last one got terrible moths, so I've had to go and buy another one (make it sound like it's been a real BORE to waste your time searching out another).
10) Half the price of everything when asked 'how much did it cost then?' This worked brilliantly for years with middleagedad, until I decided to go 'straight' and admit to the actual price, unbeknown to me MAD had always doubled what I admitted to, so when I started on my 'honesty policy', he started to panic.
11) Yes, this new top is actually going to make the rest of my wardrobe work very hard, as it goes with…..(list a number of trousers/skirts/jeans that are currentlysitting idle and not being worn due to having NOTHING to wear them with) so actually it's more like an investment than a spend.
12) I bought it from Primark, so it was almost free.( No longer works on MAD as years spent with me has ensured he knows designer quality when he see's it, will work for less fashion clued up partners).