First we had Brexiety and the resulting fall out (who else has certain members of their family that they will avoid for the forseeable?) and if that wasn’t horrendous enough, now we have Trumpxiety.
I don’t know about you but every time I think about the impending election, I come over all hot (well hotter than usual) and cold. Perhaps it’s something to do with having absolutely no power over the result and my almost obsessive quest for the latest news/poles in the lead up to election day, but this weekend I’ve reached peak Trump and have decided to try to tune out and leave the rest to fate.
So here are my top tips to alleviate Trumpxiety over the next couple of days.
- Take a bath – light a candle, empty in all of your most luxurious bath salts, pour a glass of wine and lie back and think of England – we may be surrounded by Brexiteers but at least we are not in Iowa!
- Buy something fluffy, velvety or glittery – Christmas is coming and you can never have too many tactile/sparkly things – especially in times of stress. If Trump gets in you can watch the result, wearing a sequin dress, velvet shoes and fake fur coat. Think tragic drag queen weeping into her Dubonnet, singing My Way.
- Get drunk – start at lunch time on Tuesday and don’t stop until the results are announced on 4am Wednesday morning – if Trump gets in you’ll be too hungover to care – at least for a couple of hours.
- Avoid all news channels and only watch banal reality tv, IACGMOH, TOWIE and RHOC are all good – or alternatively start a new box set. I am on episode 3 of the first of seven seasons of The Gilmore Girls which should keep me going for a while after the results.
- Plan a holiday – the Isle of Skye or Iceland are probably the safest options at the moment, but they are both places I have always meant to visit – silver lining people silver linings.
The important thing is to make to the most of the last few days of relative normality, as the Guardian pointed out this weekend ‘even if Trump loses, the relief will be superficial: Trumpism will remain, and the world will have to contend with the fact that about 40% of the US electorate saw little wrong with his racism and misogyny, alleged sexual assaults, business scandals, lies, misrepresentations of his wealth and charitable giving, probable failure to pay taxes, lack of impulse control, profound ignorance and tiny attention span’.